4 Difficult Feelings And What They Can Tell You About Yourself

Hi, I 'm Amanda --thanks for stopping by!

I wanted to start this blog with a simple post  about the general idea of accepting your feelings.  I spend much time in the therapy room just helping folks accept whatever feeling they are having, just the basics of understanding it. Struggling with emotion only makes it harder on you and drains you of your precious energy!

Ever hear the song by Rage Against the Machine, “Know Your Enemy”?  It has a time and a place if you are going to listen, if you know what I mean :) -- however, the title phrase is a concept I stand by and always relevant in therapy.   If you can't see feelings as normal and healthy, and part of the human condition, if they feel too big and out of control for you,  then at least try to know your enemy.   I can help. 

Let’s explore this, when you know something/someone it becomes easier to handle, less scary, that thing or person is instantly less “negative.”   When you know your ‘enemy’ it’s hard to continue to see it as such.

Here are 4 commonly difficult emotions and what they are really trying to tell you:

1)    Anger: arises to tell you that what is happening to you is undesirable.  It’s a signal, and an important one.   By learning about what makes you angry you can catch yourself before it gets the best of you. 

2)    Hurt & Sadness: arise to tell you that you have lost something or are missing something you want and need.  What is that missing thing or person? When you know more about what you want more of, what you feel you lost, you are a step closer to finding a way to get it, to fill the void.

3)    Fear: arises to warn you of possible failure, loss, pain.  For humans, failure, loss, pain, are inextricably linked with concepts or events to avoid at all cost.  Fear is a powerful emotion that can shut you down from living your life.

4)    Guilt: arises to remind you that in some way you are responsible for causing an undesirable result or circumstance.  Think about if there is anything you could do at this point to help, fix it, alleviate the undesirable circumstance, if so, take the first step.  And if not, then move towards finding self-forgiveness.  

PRO TIP:  If you can locate a feeling state in your physical body—you are way ahead of the game! Give it a try.  It’s a major part of knowing your emotions, good, bad, whatever, and knowing where they land in your being. 

Take care guys,  

-----Amanda